My Anti-Sleep

After yet another night of no sleep, I figured that a post about my "sleep stealer" would be appropriate at 5am. :)

Introducing, my sweet, funny, petite, loud, dramatic, loving, beautiful, hasn't-let-me-have-a-good-nights-sleep-in-two-years: Makennah. 

She came out crying and really hasn't stopped since!! Although Makennah was a perfectly normal and healthy 6lbs (and a scheduled C-section); we had our share of difficulties.

Bound and determined to nurse her, I had a break down on day two or so in the hosptial. Fresh from major surgery and exhausted, Makennah just WOULD NOT latch on properly. Though I had an excellent lactation consultant that stood by me and helped me at every call-M and I just could not find our groove. I should have seen the drama unfolding in the hospital, but I think the drugs clouded my vision just a teeny bit.

As a new family of five, things were difficult already. With two almost four year olds and a newborn things were pretty loud at our house!  Luckily, Chris was able to take about three weeks off; THANK YOU LORD! Little did we know that when we brought our sweet baby girl home the nights that lay ahead for us!

From the time we got home I knew something was not quite right. She didn't sleep as much or as soundly as I thought she would. The boys, though premature, were excellent sleepers for the most part. (Much more on their birth in a later post.) Chris and I were in for a very, very rude awakening.  Luckily after pumping and trying, on around day 8 M and I got the hang of nursing. From then on it was smooth sailing and she was nursed exclusively. (Until she weaned herself at around 13 months.) Nursing was the least of my worries now. Makennah DID NOT SLEEP. I remember Chris and I the first few nights wondering if we should go to the emergency room because this child just simply would NOT STOP CRYING. I often added to the mix with crying myself. For the first few days, my parents kept the boys at their house, so that was a relief. What in the world was wrong with this little baby?! Were we doing something wrong?

Makennah had her "witching hours". Sometimes they could vary slightly, but you always knew they were coming. Night after night we would try to pacify this new little life. Chris would walk her outside (which helped only momentarily), we brought in her stroller from the car and would ride her up and down the hall, through the kitchen and back again. We sat her in her carseat on top of the washing machine AND the dryer. Still, she would scream.  Sometimes, non-stop nursing would help. I know mostly it was just pacifying her because she was getting very little milk after so long-but I was content with that. Other times, after nursing her because she was hungry, burping her and changing her and trying to nurse pacify her more-she would just refuse. Not only was she colicky, she wouldn't lay down. She hated her bassinet, she hated her bed. During these times, I couldn't even get her to rest on me! I cried so many nights with her.She never spit up and didnt seem like her tummy was bothering her all that much (gas drops are a joke anyway). Finally, weeks later, even though she had her "witching hours" and they were exhausting, she would sleep for a few hours at a time.

We tried EVERYTHING as far as sleeping places were concerned. We finally broke down and bought a glider thing. She layed on her back but sort of upright. THIS was my lifesaver. It kept her constantly moving. After her fits, she would be exhausted (as would I) and would only find comfort in the movement and being upright. So, I gave in and allowed her to sleep in this. She was on her back, so I felt comfort in that at least.

Her colic continued for at least 9-10 weeks. Although, now two years later, I wonder if we aren't the cover story for a new found colic-in TWO YEAR OLDS. :)

Our beautiful little monster  girl hasn't changed much. :) She goes to sleep much better (though often times with difficulty) now. I do usually get to sleep normally, but then there are those nights (that are far, far too many).  This child has never, ever, ever, slept through the entire night soundly. She always wakes up and stands up on the side of her crib crying for some reason-always at least once. The inspiration for this post about Makennah came last night. I went to bed at 11pm. I saw 12:30a.m, 1:15a.m, 2:30a.m., 3:00 a.m and 5:15a.m. And Chris wonders why I am in a bad mood when I wake up sometimes-IT'S BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SLEPT! I will play the "being human" card right now-every human needs sleep to function and some nights I just do not get enough.

Makennah is scared of loud noises. So when a thunderstorm rolls through (example: the night before last), it is almost a guarantee that at some point, she will end up in the bed with me. If she is trying to get to sleep and our next door neighbor decided to leave his house (he has one of those big trucks that is pretty loud), she freaks out. It would just be awesome to sleep through the night WITH Makennah at home. (I sleep way too hard if she is spending the night with my parents-which is often NOT enough.) I wonder how many Diet Cokes it will take me to feel somewhat normal today? (Thank you Walmart for pricing your 24pk at only $5!)

As I type this, I hear my sweet little boys chatting quietly in their room. Man how I wish they would rub off THAT QUALITY on their little sister. When Makennah wakes up, it is more often than not-a whine, cry or combination of both. I always say that if she would have been the first baby, she probably would have been our last. :)

I love this baby girl with every ounce of my being. She is the comic relief in my day, my sweet hugs and my EXHAUSTION. I know I will one day tell her "You know, you are so getting paid back from when you were little....." :) (I know my mama has played that card a time or two with me!!! :) )

So for now, I guess I will just accept that sleep (good, restful, most every night sleep) will come  at some point. I am just trying to soak up every bit of her being little and remain positive though sleep eludes me. I know that one day way too soon, I will be mad because I can't get her to wake up in the mornings without a fuss (at least that part will be familiar) and I won't be able to get her to go to bed at a descent time. :)

Exhausted and the pillow next to me calling out to me "Sleep, sleep while you have the few extra moments...." I must get up, start my day and grab a diet coke. :)