Sunburn and blueberries

Wow. What a couple of days! Yesterday, I enjoyed some Mom time .We had a blast and I ended up getting really sunburned. Totally my fault, yes, I know.  Thank you R for the lavender in the aloegel tip and L for the aloe gel!! :) It feels much better!!! :) My kiddos, of course, were slathered TWICE with sunscreen and came home sunburn free.  They had such a good time. Can I just say that four hours of playing in the sun at the creek makes for AWESOME naps?? :)  I had to wake them up to get ready for VBS and they went straight to bed when we got home. Yay for the creek!!!!

I almost hate to admit it, but I really am enjoying the boys going to VBS. Last week it was during the early morning. It was great and I enjoyed the time I got to spend visiting with a few friends (with M in tow of course), but, this evening time is fabulous. Monday night my Daddy kept M while I went to Jalisco's with some other moms...super fun girl talk time! :) Tuesday night, I visited with R. Even though she almost burned my lips off with her hot sauce (that didn't come with a disclaimer until AFTER I put four glugs onto my meal) I had a great time and I know M did playing with EC. Love you, R! :) 

Tonight, I had a super fabulous time with four wonderful ladies. I laughed so hard my sunburn hurt and was a bit fearful that my sweet friend L may smack me, but all in all, I had a fantastic, much needed, girl time. :) Now, no girl time is complete without chocolate. We had quite the yummy spread.  Coffee, brownies, cookies and CHOCOLATE COVERED BLUEBERRIES.  I was a bit skeptical when R asked me the night before if I wanted to try them. Boy, am I glad for that introduction!! These little gems are DIVINE. The do look a bit on the, as my friend AK would say, "Look, it's reindeer poop." side; but who cares-they are awesomely delish!!  The oh-so easy recipe can be found here.  Thanks for hosting, R, I had a blast!!!!
At bedtime tonight, the boys wanted to say a prayer. Sometimes, they feel led to say a prayer, sometimes I say a prayer.  N's prayer was really sweet. It started with the normal, "Thank you God for this day...." and somewhere in the middle was, "and please help us to remember that VBS is learning about Jesus". :) It warmed my heart to hear that. C and I are so blessed with two very sweet, caring and loving little boys. My prayer is that they learn to love God with all of their hearts, worship Him and serve Him. I am excited to sweet what great men they will turn in to....don't want to rush it, though. :) Six years passed by WAY too fast!!!!
Anyway, so tomorrow is DAY 4 of VBS. I am pretty excited for tomorrow's activities as well. I think we might have a DC run. Wonder what treasures I can dig up with no kids in tow? :) Who knows, but I am really looking forward to R and A's company. Oh yea, and whoever else wants to go treasure hunting-COME ON!!!

Hopefully by tomorrow this sun burn will begin to feel a bit better. I can barely stand being out in the sun right now. Bra straps and shirts are almost unbearable. It has been MANY years since i've had a sunburn and I plan on it NEVER happening again! :)

Going through the motions

Have you ever been so deep in though while driving that you couldn't remember how you got to where you were?

Just tonight I did exactly that. I was driving the kids home from VBS. The kids were quiet because they were tired (believe it or not) and I was DEEP in thought. I forgot what I was thinking about now, but I remember turning on my blinker to cross the highway. Then, Elijah asked me, "Mommy, have we passed that chicken place yet?" For those of you that know this town, you know how far it is from "the chicken place" on my way home to the turn I have to make to cross the highway. That is a pretty good clip. I DO NOT remember any of that part of the drive.

This totally frightens me. Then, I got to thinking even further (don't worry, my thinking is happening at home this time, not driving my precious little ones)....is this how I live my life? Do I just drive down the highway of life so deep in my own self that I do not realize what is going on around me? Sometimes, I think so. Other times, I like to think, that I am keenly aware of others and what is going on around me.

This past Sunday morning, I prayed asking God to "Show me what I need to do..." regarding some things I have really been struggling with. I always can relate in some way to every message  my pastor gives, but this one struck me really hard. God totally was saying, "THIS is what you need to do."  He couldn't have been more clear. Now, I just need to put into action a plan. I need to start dealing with this and healing so that I can no longer just "Go through the motions"  of life and drift in and out, but actually live. Live without guilt, shame, sadness and hatred regarding these things and just-let go. This affects me so deeply, so personally that it then directly affects my marriage, my parenting, my ability to be a friend and so on.

So, one step at a time, as I am a W-I-P. :)

One of my very favorite songs by Matthew West goes like this: 

This might hurt, it's not safe

But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

Wow. It is like he totally wrote that song from the deep place in my soul that I shout and scream, "I don't want to just go through the motions!"  The scary part is, "What if I do actually give everything?"  Right? I am always so worried that I may fail, or what may be on the other side of the healing. N o longer will have the heavy heart weighing me down from such mess. Scary, yet exhilarating!

So, I must do what God has told me to do. I knew it already, and I knew He would tell me exactly what he had been "whispering" all along.  Sometimes, it is so hard to just be silent, listen and obey.

To gain the freedom that I know will come with healing will be amazing. I am scared to death. I know that going through this will open my relationship up with God to a totally new level; and I need that. I thirst for that. I want THAT more than anything. I want that "next level" with my Lord and Savior.

It's going to be one heck of a ride, but I am so ready to see whats on the other side.